by Bonnie Dubrow

Have you ever been thrown off-center by people or events that are outside your control? Do you ever want to shout, “Stop the world! I want to get off?”

Join the club. You’re human. In spite of your intentions to stay cool, calm, and collected, it’s impossible to do all the time, especially when you’re tired, frustrated, overwhelmed, or suddenly caught off guard.

Yet you know from your own experience that you cannot be or do your best when you aren’t feeling your best.

Wouldn’t you like to be able to get out of the storm until it blows over? Your ability to live in the eye of the hurricane is a skill worth mastering.

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The Power of Positive Feeling

To succeed in business and in life, you need to know what you want. You need to be clear about the Big Picture - your values, visions, dreams and goals. You must be competent, and you need to feel confident that you know what you know. You need to feel good. Of these ingredients, only your feelings are subject to change from one moment to the next.

Athletes and performing artists know that feeling good is a prerequisite as well as a reward for peak performance. They have learned that feeling good is an inside job and that with practice they can consciously take control of their emotions. They also have come to realize that the body is the best biofeedback tool. The body doesn’t lie. If they’re feeling good, they’re in a resourceful state. If they feel bad, they’re not. Champions therefore choose to master the inner game so they are able to remain centered regardless of what’s happening around them. They learn to STOP and Shift, to check in with themselves to feel how they’re feeling. When they catch themselves in an unresourceful state, they shift gears, and step back into the eye of the hurricane.

The pros know the benefits, and so do you. When we’re centered we make better decisions, we communicate better, we’re more creative and resourceful, and we do a better job at whatever we’re doing.

Regardless of how good we are at maintaining or regaining our composure, we can’t control the world around us. Even our own thoughts, feelings, and actions can have a negative effect on our emotions. So we need to have realistic expectations of ourselves. Sometimes we find ourselves at less than our emotional best. The better we are at shifting back to a positive emotional state, and the more time we spend living in the eye of the hurricane, the more likely we are to achieve the success we desire.

While you may have an intellectual understanding of these concepts, you may be wondering how you, too, can become a master of the inner game.

The pros know that to move from understanding to mastery requires practice. Doing the desired behavior over and over and over again is a key to learning something new or to replacing an outdated habit with a more success-oriented one.

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Being in the Zone

You know when you’re feeling really good or really bad. While occasionally the shift from good to bad is sudden, most of the time it’s a more gradual transition. Yet most of us are unaware of our body’s subtle feedback about how we’re feeling, so we miss the early warning signals. Wouldn’t you like to catch yourself before you hit the wall? Wouldn’t you like to hear your inner voice when it’s a whisper instead of a shout?

Here are behaviors that, once mastered, will increase the ease with which you shift gears when you find yourself in an undesirable emotional state. They’ll also increase the amount of time you spend in the zone of peak performance.

You’ll want to get in the habit to consciously STOP and check in with your body and emotions throughout the day. The more aware you are of the subtler shifts, the more likely you’ll catch yourself as you transition from a desirable emotional state to an undesirable one. In the beginning, you’re more likely to realize after the fact that you’ve drifted from center. With practice, you’ll eventually catch yourself as you’re “slip-sliding away.”

As you practice STOP you’ll also be mastering your ability to consciously step back into the eye of the hurricane.

The more you practice, the quicker you’ll master the behaviors and the longer you’ll retain them. Once you’ve mastered each one, string them together. Eventually, you’ll automatically STOP, check in, and shift gears. You’ll have a new habit. With grace and ease, you’ll be stepping into and living in the eye of the hurricane.

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STOP

S Shift toward Center; Connect with your Source; Spirit and Soul, Serenity

T Take conscious breaths. Stand or sit Tall. Focus on your Treasures. Practice an attitude of gratitude for what you already have and for what you’re eagerly anticipating in advance of receiving ‘it.’ Trust yourself and your Source.

O Oxygenating your body. Open your mind and your heart. Shift your attention to the Opportunities and Options you desire.

P Proceed with Passion. Pursue your Pleasure. Play is a prerequisite for Peak Performance. Inner Peace. Prosperity.

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Tips for Practicing STOP

Choose one key word or phrase for each letter. Choose the most powerful ones for you. Choose ones that are not listed. Then say those words or phrases over and over again, each time shifting towards center.

Identify neutral everyday events that will serve as reminders to STOP. Examples: ringing of phone, picking up phone, looking at watch/clock, drinking liquid, red light breathing. Your goal is that every time that trigger happens, you STOP, check in, and shift towards center. No matter how good you’re feeling when you check in, you will always benefit from this behavior.

Other great times to practice STOP are: at the beginning and end of each day and each activity, to interrupt an undesirable behavior and make a conscious change, to address mistakes and correct miscommunications, and to rest.

Practice in a safe environment, with safe people. Keep practicing. Only when the new behavior becomes a habit will you be able to automatically shift toward center.

Also make a list of those people, circumstances and events, even your own thoughts, that you already know bring up bad feelings. These can also serve as triggers to STOP, check in, and shift. Practice even when a real-life trigger has such an impact on you that it takes longer than you’d like to shift to positive feelings.

One of the benefits of practicing STOP is that you won’t get too far off center too often or for too long. You’ll be in the habit of checking in often, and when you catch yourself in a less than desirable emotional/physical state, you will STOP and shift. Eventually even when you’re confronted by a negative trigger you hadn’t used to consciously practice, you’ll automatically STOP and shift.

So start practicing STOP today and master the art of
Living in the Eye of the Hurricane.

Fun is a prerequisite to excellence.

Play is the behavior of enlightenment.

If it’s got to be done, make it fun.

Success is having fun making progress.

The most important thing is that I feel good!