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Coping with Life’s Major Changes & the Tough Transitions They Trigger

Life is a journey, with twists and turns, ups and down, smooth times and rocky roads. While there is no way to avoid major life changes, we can learn how to find the treasures often hidden in the process, life and ourselves as we navigate the tough transitions that follow.

Throughout this website, you will find tips, tools and techniques that can help you learn from, and even transform yourself and your life. Yes, the process is an inside job, yet being a member of a supportive community can be so important. Why go it alone?

You are also invited to participate in the free Introduction to the Lifelines Program™. A telephone-based group coaching program, Lifelines to Laughlines™ has been designed to provide support, encouragement and guidance to spiritually-minded people who want to understand the purpose of, and be transformed by life's challenges.  

Journey at a Glance


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"How did I get here?"

Why is this happening to me… again?”

Where do I go from here?”

If you find yourself asking these questions, you are not alone…

even if sometimes you feel like you are!

Many of us hoped our lives would be like the fairy tales we heard as children.

Once upon a time ….

They lived happily ever after…

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Life Is a Journey

Then we grew up to find that the one thing we could count on is that our lives would be filled with opportunities, challenges, changes, people and events beyond our control ~ a journey of ups and downs, twists and turns, detours and dead ends. We learned that sometimes life wouldn't look like we expected, intended or wanted it to.

Major life changes are often the beginning of a journey that starts with an ending of a “known” way of life, and leads us into “unknown” territory.

We intellectually understand that at one time or another, we will find ourselves living through major changes and the tough transitions they can trigger.

Yet once thrust into unfamiliar territory, we are often unprepared to cope with the disruptions in our daily routine, and with the turbulent, often confusing, emotions. We may even find ourselves questioning who we are, the meaning and purpose in what we are experiencing, sometimes even life itself. Facing the unknown can be exciting ~ confusing ~ even downright frightening.

What’s fascinating is that we might find ourselves experiencing turbulent times whether we imagine the change will be good or bad for us.

Major life changes are often accompanied by a sense of loss ~ loss of love, security, material possessions, health, daily routine or lifestyle. This sense of loss can easily contribute to the sense that you are lost, and that your life is out of control, without meaning and purpose. You might feel like a victim, powerless… helpless.

Every life has its bumps, and they can pop up any time. What’s important is that we learn to navigate them smoothly ~ before they send us into a ditch. And if we end up there, that we get up and start moving toward solid ground rather than sit there and wallow in the mud.

In the past, many of us have chosen to avoid the unknown world of self-discovery. We have done only that which we needed in order to make it through the transition. Then we’d continue our life’s journey without changing who we are and how we relate to the world within and around us.

Now we choose to take the road less traveled. We choose to be transformed by the journey, to discover the personal power and treasures hidden within the transition process, and find our way to renewed meaning, purpose and joy.


We invite you to join us.

Return to Journey at a Glance

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Characteristics of a Major Life Change

A major change is one that requires us to create new structure, and often new meaning, for our lives. There are many characteristics these changes have in common.

Major Life Changes Can Be Positive or Negative. Mostly They Are Confusing.

Many events are undesired, unwelcome, and have negative, sometimes devastating, impact on our world.

  • Disappointment in love
  • Health issues or crises, ours or a loved one
  • Financial challenges like not being able to retire
  • Dealing with financial setbacks
  • Professional dissatisfaction
  • Infertility
  • Children and/or grandchildren and/or parents living at home or nearby, so you become a caregiver and/or financial support
  • Dissatisfaction with the American dream… Is that all there is?
  • Natural disasters: hurricanes, tornados, earth quakes, fire, etc.
  • Man-made disasters: bombs, war, fire, etc.

Others are desired, welcome, and have positive impact on our world. They are considered joyful blessings.

Yet they, too, are accompanied by major change. In a way they are confusing and challenging, in part because we, and others, tend to judge any doubts and fears as inappropriate and wrong. These feelings are none the less real and disruptive.

  • Marriage
  • A new baby
  • A financial windfall
  • Children graduating and going off on their own

The most confusing are the ones that are a mixture of impact and emotions ~ good and bad, positive and negative.
  •  Retirement
  •  Moving
  •  2nd & 3rd marriages and/or families
  •  Blending families
  •  Surviving health problems
  •  Divorce
  •  Death of a loved one who has suffered because of an illness or any tragedy
  •  Loss of a job you didn’t like, yet causing an uncertain financial future
  •  Ending a relationship with a significant other when it wasn’t working out anyway
  •  Starting a new job, career or business

Other Characteristics

You may be the one to initiate the change, someone else might, or an event that is out of your control could occur.

Some changes are unexpected, taking you by surprise, so you are unable to plan or prepare. In other circumstances, you know change is about to occur. Then there are the times where your intuition tells that change is in the air.

Some of the twists and turns in our journey are not as radical as others. In addition, a life change that is very problematic for one person may be relatively easy for another. The degree of difficulty of a particular transition depends in part on our predisposition, life experience, resiliency, and coping skills.

In the long run, none of the above mentioned characteristics is what makes a transition tough. Characterized by a sharp discontinuity with the past, major life changes cause an enormous amount of stress, and the adjustment often trigger a complex and challenging transition.

Return to Journey at a Glance

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Transitions Are a Part of Life

Transitions are ever present in nature. We also call them cycles.

  • Day and night
  • Phases of the moon and the tides
  • Seasons
  • Years

We as humans go through transitions.

  • Daily transitions
    • From hungry to full to hungry again.
    • From sleep to awake, awake to sleep.
    • Moving back and forth from lying down to sitting up to standing up.
    • From home to work and back again.
  • From one stage of life to another
    • Conception, birth, infancy, toddler, child, teenager, adult, etc.
    • From being in school to working and living in the world.

Well, you get the drift. The list goes on and on.

Return to Journey at a Glance

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What Makes a Transition Tough?

While there are many characteristics of a tough transition, the bottom line is its impact on us.

  • We question who we are or think we are.
  • The life we knew and the world itself has changed. Things are a mess – inside and out - and there’s no going back.
  • We don’t know what’s important to us any more.
  • We don’t know if we have the energy, let alone the desire, to start over.
  • The emotions are so powerful that they interfere with our ability to function effectively.

Often we experience mixture of emotions, some negative, some positive, and we are confused by, even unable to control the mood swings. This is especially true when what we’re experiencing is different from what friends, family, and others in our society deem appropriate.

It’s especially important at these times to remember that there is no right or wrong, appropriate or inappropriate ~ just your personal experience. Don’t compare how you’re dealing with your transition to anyone else’s situation or reactions, or even to your own expectations.

Raging emotions don’t care what triggered them. Once a fire starts, what sparked it doesn’t matter until the fire’s out. Then you might choose to research the cause, reach for relief, and if necessary assistance.

Another thing is that there are many myths about how we’re supposed to navigate turbulent times. Here are a few.

  • If I initiate ‘it’, I shouldn’t be feeling this badly.
  • I should be over ‘it’ by now.
  • Everyone is saying, “Isn’t ‘it’ awful?” I’m feeling okay. What’s wrong with me?

To discover more success-oriented approaches to these and other popular myths, join the Lifelines Community. You will have access to our Myths about Tough Transitions and other helpful information.

Return to Journey at a Glance

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Metaphors for a Tough Transition

There are many ways to describe a tough transition and what it feels like to be in one. Here are a few.

  • Journey metaphors
    • You’re at a crossroads.
    • You’ve encountered delays or detours.
    • Life’s in a rut.
    • Stuck in the mud.
    • Spinning your wheels.
  • Sports
    • Life’s thrown me a curve ball.
  • Airplanes
    • My life’s in a nose dive.
    • I hit the eject button.
    • I’m in free-fall without a parachute.
  • Storms
    • Living in the aftermath of a storm.
  • Boating and Water
    • Up a creek without a paddle.
    • Caught off-guard in a turbulent sea.
    • Afloat in a rudderless ship.
    • Coming up for air.
  • General
    • The rug’s been pulled out from under me.
    • I’ve fallen into deep hole and can’t get out.
    • I’m looking up and can’t see daylight.
    • I have to look up to see down.
    • Dark night of the soul.

Return to Journey at a Glance

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If You Need Relief Now, Take Action Now!

There are things you can do for relief from your turbulent emotions. I know you've heard about them before. You probably were doing some before you found yourself going through a tough transition.

Remember that going through a tough transition can drain your energy so much that you really are running on reserve.

If you are like me and others I've talked to, sometimes your life has been thrown so off kilter that you can't remember any of the activities and spiritual practices that you used to do. 

Or if you have tried doing one or more of them, they don't seem to be working, certainly not like they used to.

Trust me, it is. You won't feel as good, energized or uplifted as you used to. You are recharging and refueling, even if you don't feel like you are. You may be using all your energy grieving a loss, coping with your new life and your disruptive emotions.

So please be gentle with yourself and take good care of yourself.

  • Get plenty of rest. Sleep is an excellent way to recharge and rejuvinate while taking a break from thinking and feeling. 
  • Get together with friends and family who love and support you. Spend some time sharing what you are experiencing. Spend some time doing something that's not focused on you and your situation. Maybe watch a movie, play a game, or do something physical like gardening, exercising, even cleaning, rearranging furniture, painting and remodeling... anything that for a short while takes your mind off your situation. 
  • Cry when you feel like it, whether with someone or alone. Crying is healing (as long as you don't spend weeks and months crying uncontrollably or in inappropriate situations.) 
  • Eat well. Enjoy your comfort foods. Avoid overeating in general, or overindulging in things like sugar, caffeine because they can tax an already strained body. Alcohol can take the edge off, and too much will contribute to feeling depressed and out of control.
  • Exercise. Exercising produces endorphines that will make you feel better while releasing harmful chemicals produced when we are under a great deal of stress.

Just be sure that whatever you do, you give yourself time to grieve and to do the inner work that helps you make sense of, heal from, and be transformed by your experience.

This is also an excellent time to meditate, write in your journal, do yoga, or whatever you do to connect with your higher power.

Return to Journey at a Glance


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You Have a Personal Unconscious Blueprint

The veil between your conscious and unconscious mind is very thin during a tough transition which makes it an excellent time to examine your unconscious blueprint to discover how you may have unintentially contributed to your current situation.

Each of us has a personal blueprint that plays a big part in how we live on a daily basis when things are running smoothly, and how we think, feel and act when we are coping with major life changes. For the most part, we are not conscious of our past programming, yet it greatly impacts how we go through a tough transition and how we approach life in general.

We can either accept the power of our unconscious mind and learn how to examine, evaluate, and when desired, modify our patterns of perceiving, thinking, feeling and acting, or we will continue to attract and manifest more of what we already have, whether it's what we want or what we don't want.

Return to Journey at a Glance

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Your Outer World is a Reflection of Your Inner World 

If you want to change your life’s situation on the outside, you will first need to become aware of and, when necessary, change the inner landscape.  

So, what is your unconscious blueprint set for?

  • Embracing change as a natural part of life or resisting it? 
  • Fully experiencing the painful, uncomfortable, confusing and sometimes disruptive feelings that accompany loss or burying them?
  • Giving yourself the time and space to mourn and grieve as part of healing, or cutting short the process even though in the long run this only prolongs the suffering?
  • Creating the life you want or being a victim of circumstance?
  • Learning from, and being transformed by, life's lessons or repeating them again and again with escalating drama and trauma?

How do you know what's in your unconscious blueprint?
One way is to look at your results! If you are unhappy, your life full of chaos, and you find yourself asking, "Why is this happening to me again?", then your blueprint may be stuck in “victim” mode. Fortunately or unfortunately, your current blueprint will stay with you for the rest of your life... unless you choose to consciously explore and modify it… and that is exactly what we do throughout this program.

Return to Journey at a Glance

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You Either Repeat Life's Lessons or
You Learn from and Are Transformed by Them

During Lifelines to Laughlines you will change your life’s blueprint and recondition yourself for a more conscious, spiritual and joyful life.

Part of this shift is to more and more deeply embrace the concept that we are spirit beings having a human experience, and that each tough transition is a calling of the soul to move forward. While we can choose to consciously connect with our Source and trust that everything that happens is for our highest good, this doesn't mean that we become exempt from major life changes. We can see them from a different perspective and tell a new story. Joy becomes our natural way of being and we are transformed by every experience. 

By the end of this course, you will have a different point of view toward life and success. Best of all, the same principles you learn to enhance your life will also enhance your inner peace and happiness. Lifelines to Laughlines will help you to be more fully alive in every sense of the word.

Return to Journey at a Glance

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Strategies for Navigating a Tough Transition 

No matter what the transition, there are certain coping mechanisms that provide relief, help us move through the chaos of change, and reach creative and victorious outcomes.

No matter how far along life’s highway you’ve gone, there are some simple, fundamental rules of the road. Putting them into practice isn’t always easy, but it’s critical. If you do play by the rules, you’ll make yourself stronger, and your life will be better than ever.

  • Build up your energy reserves.
    • Add some Love, Light, Peace and Joy to your life. There are many ways of adding energy to our State of Being: what we say and do; what we eat; yoga, exercise, meditation and other spiritual practices; being with loved ones... anything that brings us joy, anything that’s an expression of our passion ~ all of these can give us energy.
    • We can choose to feel good now, no matter what.
      • If feeling good is too big a step from where you are right now, you certainly can choose to reach for a better feeling thought which will cause you to move up the Emotional Scale. We can choose to do so any time we wish.
      • Just remember that the lower our energy level, the farther down the Emotional Scale we find ourselves.
      • So be gentle when you find yourself in undesirable emotional state. Gentleness is a key to unlocking your own heart where your true nature, your true being of joy, your precious Inner Child lives.

    • Remember – nobody’s perfect. It’s tempting to blame someone or something else when you feel angry, disappointed, bored, betrayed or stressed out. Blaming, insulting and criticizing yourself and/or others are all energy drains. They keep your focus on what you don’t want, and what we resist persists.
  • Reach out to others. You don’t need to go through these turbulent changes on your own.
    • Call on friends, family, associates who know and love you and want the best for you. Let them know what’s going on in your life and ask them to be there for you, to be a sounding board, assistant problem solver, confidant, advisor… whatever you need that you know they can provide.
    • There are many success-minded people looking for support and guidance as they navigate major life changes. There are many communities, some meet face to face, some on the phone, others online. We invite you to become a member of our Lifelines Community. Seek out whatever works best for you.
  • Work with Compassionate Professionals. When you face life’s transitions, you might want to seek out professionals who know what it’s like from personal experience. Here are a few ways they can make your journey smoother. They can:
    • Help you get unstuck.
    • Offer insight, information and inspiration.
    • Light the roads ~ and the pitfalls ~ ahead.
    • Help you recognize ways you might be sabotaging your own happiness and how to stop.
    • Teach you how to adapt more easily to change of all kinds.
    • Help you recognize and understand the significant transitions, turning points, and crossroads on your path.
    • Assist you in creating a new map of your life so you know how to turn what appears to be a dead end into a doorway.
    • Guide you to an understanding of your life lessons.
    • Teach you how to successfully use whatever you're going through as a springboard for regeneration and rebirth.
    • Offer a new path that ultimately leads to happiness and meaning.
    • Show you how to make your journey one of personal and spiritual development, wisdom, and happiness.
    • Guide you through the process of transforming fear into courage, confusion into vision, and self-doubt into confidence.

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We created Lifelines™ to be a guiding light for you. 
  • Resources can provide you with information, inspiration and relief.
    • Search for answers to questions like:
      • What issues you’re likely to face while going through a transition.
      • How your body, mind, and emotions are affected by transition.
      • New thinking and behaviors that can transform your life.
      • The difference between surviving and thriving ~ and the secrets that will make you a thriver.
  • You might find information, inspiration and relief in:
    • Books and articles (available in many forms ~ print, audio cassette, electronic)
    • Workshops, seminars, teleclasses and teleseminars
    • Support groups
    • Individual or group therapy
    We’ve provided you with many resources. Please send us your feedback and recommendations.

When you join the Lifelines Community™, you will have access to our article entitled Tips for Successfully Navigating Tough Transitions and other valuable information available to members only.
  •  
Return to Journey at a Glance

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What We Focus on Grows

One of the secret strategies that’s not a secret any more is the Law of Attraction. Abraham-Hicks (www.abraham-hicks.com) has been teaching about this and other spiritual laws for many years. The movie The Secret was brought into the spotlight in February, 2007, when Oprah Winfrey did several television shows dedicated making millions aware of the Law of Attraction. Put very simply, like attracts like. What we vibrate in harmony with is made manifest in our world.

As far as we can tell, worrying about anything at all is a pretty good indicator that we have begun thinking that our joy and prosperity will somehow hinge on pending physical events, other people, anything outside ourselves. Remember, this is an inside job!

Transitions are perfect for becoming more aware of where you focus your attention, and making sure you are visualizing, writing, speaking and acting in alignment with what you want.

Will You Choose Hope or Despair?

Hope is a expectation of desirable things to come. Despair is a expectation of undesirable things to come.

What do hopeful people do that others do not? They choose to believe that some good, some new possibilities will eventually appear out of every situation, even if we can’t see how or when or where just yet. They believe it’s in their best interest to shift their attention from what they don’t like about their current situation to what they want. Then they set out to look for and move toward something better, even if all that’s possible is to reach for a better feeling thought.

Will you choose Faith or Fear?

Faith is believing that what you cannot see will come to pass. Fear is believing that what you cannot see will come to pass.

When you are full of hope, faith and enthusiasm, it is because you are imagining future scenarios. When you are fearful or in despair, you are also imagining future scenarios. It all depends on what you are imagining!

To eliminate fear from your life, start imagining wonderful future images.

Will you choose to be a Creator or a Victim?

The truth is that no matter how ‘good’ we are or strive to be, we all, every one of us, face the challenge of dealing with major life change and the transitions that follow. We may recognize and take responsibility for the part we played in creating the situation. We may be coping with the aftermath of someone else’s actions. Nature may have dealt a tough blow. On some level, none of this matters.

“Oh, yeah,” you might be mumbling. “They don’t know my situation and what I’m going through. If they did…”

Well, both of us know what it’s like to have the rug pulled out from under us, to have our lives be so disrupted and our emotions so distraught that we didn’t know if we could, even if we wanted to, pick up the pieces and go on. You can read our stories and decide for yourself if we, too, know what it’s like to be wondering if we’d get to the other side of the raging river. The good news is we’ve gotten to the other side, and have discovered a little bit of heaven. We are both stronger, more conscious, even grateful for what we went through and who we’ve become. We promise that some day you will, too.

What does it take to jump in and swim for your life? Courage, faith, and the willingness to practice. Practice reaching for a better feeling thought, an attitude of gratitude, praying, doing spiritual practices, singing, journaling, doing anything that bring even a moment of relief, even joy. You know what they are for you. Do them. You deserve to feel better, no matter what’s going on in your life. In fact, it’s the very choice to take responsibility for your own thoughts and feelings, and to choose to focus them on what you want. Just remember that when we ask, it is given. We need to do our part, to keep our doors and windows open, to believe that thoughts are things, and the more time and energy we focus on them, the quicker we get them… whether we’re focused on what we want or don’t want.

And here’s a biggie… be grateful in advance of seeing what you’ve asked for. Know that your job is to be a vibrational match to what you want, not to focus on the lack of it. Be open, be grateful, be available for miracles to happen, then be aware and look for them. They’re happening all around us all the time… even when we can’t see them.

So choose to be the creator of your life ~ no matter what… Become more conscious; become ever more aware of everything.

And remember, all is well in your world. We are never given more than we can handle. A cliché? Maybe… but does it serve us to believe otherwise? We know what it’s like to have been dealt what seemed like an unplayable hand… and trading one card at a time, turn it into a win. If we can do it, so can you. Reach out for lifelines ~ they’re all around you. We’re here for you, too.

Return to Journey at a Glance

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Redefine Success, Find Meaning and Purpose

One of the most important characteristics that enable people to stay the course through turbulent times is that they have a powerful purpose. Another is that they have a clear vision of what they want and what it means to them to be successful in business and in life.

What happens when a change disrupts or destroys the life you knew?

  • It’s not the best time to place yourself under additional stress.
  • It’s also not the time to make major decisions about your future.
  • To discover what’s true for you can be challenging enough when things are going smoothly. How much more difficult is it when you are in the midst of, anticipating, a transition.
  • Your life’s purpose may be hidden from view; it may no longer be aligned with who you are and who you are becoming; or you might realize that you didn’t have a clear purpose to begin with.
  • It doesn’t serve you to expect yourself to know, or to figure out, what you’re going to want once you’re on solid ground.

Rather than trying to figure out what your new visions, dreams, and desires will be, focus on ‘the now.’ Who knows where you will end up or what will be important to you at a later stage in your journey.

You will find it is in your best interest to:

  • Take care of yourself.
  • Focus your attention on your emotions and your energy level.

What we found:

It wasn't until we discovered our true purpose that we experienced genuine direction in our lives. Once we found our purpose, we finally had a guideline to use to evaluate which interests and activities to pursue both personally and professionally.

The entire process, and it is a process, didn't happen overnight. As a matter of fact, each of us experienced several major life changes, and the transitions they triggered, even after knowing our purpose. There were even times when we doubted that we, our lives, and life in general, had any meaning or purpose.

The process required qualities that are difficult for most of us:

  • Time ~ time to grieve and mourn, time to heal, time to reflect.
  • Patience

Once you identify your true purpose, it will inject a new-found vitality in your spirit. And, at the same time, knowing your purpose will provide a sense of peace about your life and where you're going.

So, what can you do now?

Accept what is as it is.

But don’t stop there. If you do, you’ll only be looking at what you don’t want, and that’s exactly what you’ll get ~ more of what you don’t want!

Instead, choose to shift your attention to anything that brings relief ~ hope ~ faith ~ joy ~ gratitude.

Then selectively imagine what you want in your life and who you want to be from this day forward. Commit to that vision and take the journey one step at a time, focusing on the moment and the path ahead.

Next, step into the feeling ~ the feeling of being fully alive, living the life you want.

We believe that if you explore deep within any challenge, no matter how great ~ physical, mental, emotional or spiritual ~ what you’ll find is that what you truly want is to feel good ~ safe, secure, free, accepted, valued and valuable, loving, loveable, loved ~ Fully Alive in Love, Inner Peace, and Joy!

Return to Journey at a Glance

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Changing Personal Life and Success Blueprints

We can learn to change the unconscious programming that pre-paves the way for us to continue to get what we’ve always gotten.

How exciting to discover that we can, given patience and persistence, reprogram those patterns of perceiving, thinking, feeling and behaving that are responsible for creating and manifesting what we get in life.

As we change our beliefs, we change our behavior and as we change our behavior, we change our beliefs. As Wayne Dyer says, “Believing Is Seeing!”

You will find resources that support you as you continuously discover and move in the direction of what you want, of what makes you feel good every step of the way.

We are here to personally guide you through the process of reprogramming your blueprints. Lifelines has been designed with this as a primary outcome.

Return to Journey at a Glance

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Are You Ready to Reach for a Lifeline?

We, Bonnie and Lynn, are dedicated to serve as your guides on this exciting, though often frightening, journey of change and transition. We have woven together illuminating teachings; practical, innovative techniques; and the wisdom that can only come from personal experience.

Lifelines to Laughlines ~ the Introduction, the Program, the Community, the Guides ~ are all here to help you move forward through unknown territory into a life of renewed optimism, true contentment and courageous awakening.

Learn more about who we are and what we offer throughout this web site. Here are a few places you will find most helpful.

We encourage you to sign up for the free Introduction to the Lifelines Program we offer via the wonderful technology of telephone conferencing. No matter where you live, you can reach out and take hold of Lifelines™!

We wish you the very best as you journey through life.

Bonnie and Lynn

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*** A Special Note ***

If you are on medication for things like ADD/ADHD, depression, anxiety, bipolar disorder, etc., please join us for an Introductory Session to see if participating in Lifelines might contribute to your mental, emotional and spiritual well-being.

We do make the distinction between coaching and therapy. Whenever an individual warrants professional help, we recommend you work with someone who is appropriately trained.

If you are in crisis and are considering, or have recently attempted suicide, we encourage you to work with professionals who are experts in this field.

Return to Journey at a Glance

If you're going through a tough transition and don't want to go it alone, Lifelines to Laughlines might be the program you've been looking for.

To learn more:

 
Strategies for Going Through a Tough Transition
Resources: Books, articles, podcasts, websites, quotes and more to accompany you on your journey.
Frequently Asked Questions about the Program and Introduction.
Meet Life Coaches Bonnie and Lynn, Lifelines co-creators and guides.
Bonnie's Blog, Embracing Tough Transitions

Listen to a recording of the Introduction to Lifelines to Laughlines Program right now!
 

Sign up for the free
Introduction to the Lifelines Program


To contact us, call Bonnie at 321-259-4404 ,
Lynn at
512-417-6323 or email us.


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